Annoying whistlers, frozen pensioners and other imaginative Halloween costumes
Too many of us fall back on being werewolves, vampires and other traditional monsters when with a little originality we could be the stars of any party
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The Barrie Hudson Column
Barrie Hudson is a known quantity when it comes to writing words. Sometimes he even spells them correctly. In fact he has been writing words in the Swindon area for more than two decades. First of all for the Swindon Advertiser and then for Swindon Link and now for The Ink. Here are some of his words…
A little imagination can make all the difference as we celebrate Halloween
If you’re anything like me, you enjoy a good old Halloween party.
But how can you make sure your costume is not that of a run-of-the-mill Frankenstein’s Monster, werewolf, devil, vampire, demon, axe murderer, disgraced celebrity and so on?
How can you ensure your costume inspires not only the admiration of everybody else at the gathering but also, perhaps, more than a smattering of genuine horror and atavistic loathing? Imagination is the key. All we have to do is think about what gives us the creeps, fills us with a desire to flee or both.
Fortunately, I pride myself on seldom being short of an idea or three, and I’m happy to share. I’m currently trying to decide which outfit from a substantial list to go for, and just about all of them are inexpensive and one or two are completely free.
For example, going as That Bloke Who Whistles in the Bookshop or Library Who Everyone Wants to Kill costs absolutely nothing. All you have to do is turn up in your ordinary clothes and bring along a few hardbacks or paperbacks of your choice. The titles don’t matter as nobody will be allowed to read more than a few words. At first your hosts and fellow partygoers will be disappointed and perhaps even more than a little peeved at your apparent lack of effort.
However, that is when you will hand them a book, say there’s something really interesting on page 46 or wherever, invite them to read it for themselves, wait for them to open it and then stand really near them, whistling. And not cheery, normal whistling, either, not a recognisable tune produced by pursing one’s lips and blowing through them.
Remember, you are That Bloke Who Whistles in the Bookshop or Library Who Everyone Wants to Kill, so you must instead do that weird, through-the-teeth, barely audible whistling of random notes just loud enough to make everyone in the vicinity fantasise about knocking you to the ground, piling heavy furniture on you and setting fire to it.