Digital ID - your questions answered
People from all walks of life need look no further to discover how the planned new centralised phone-based ID system will affect them
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The Barrie Hudson Column
Barrie Hudson is a known quantity when it comes to writing words. Sometimes he even spells them correctly. In fact he has been writing words in the Swindon area for more than two decades. First of all for the Swindon Advertiser and then for Swindon Link and now for The Ink. Here are some of his words…
Have no fear - the digital ID scheme will be run with the cool efficiency and absolute commitment to safety which has characterised our public services for decades
As a public-spirited publication, The Ink regards it as a duty to inform people not only of the crucial news stories of the day but also to explain their likely effects and implications.
So it is with the recent announcement by The Government that it plans to introduce a universal digital ID scheme. According to the announcement the new scheme, involving having everybody’s personal information in a single, easily-accessed location on their phone, will prevent people from working here if they are not legally entitled to do so. In the interests of clarity, we present a list of questions likely to be asked by people from various backgrounds, professions and walks of life, followed by answers to those questions:
Q: I am a completely immoral employer whose workers are drawn exclusively from desperate people who have fled here from various horrific situations across the globe, and who face the choice between starving and working for vermin such as me in exchange for a fraction of the minimum wage and no regard for their health and safety. How will the digital ID scheme affect me?
A: You currently flout the laws relating to employing people illegally, laws which are seldom enforced properly because of countless years of underfunding and because those in ultimate charge of imposing them are incompetent, indifferent nincompoops who have never had the moral courage to speak out against generations of political patrons. Under the new system the laws you flout will be modified somewhat but you’ll be able to carry on flouting them regardless.
Q: I am a desperate undocumented worker for a completely immoral employer. How will the digital ID scheme affect me?
A: Probably not very much at all. The senior officials on six-figure salaries who fail to keep track of you or protect you under the current system, along with the ruthless parasite who exploits you and all the other ruthless parasites who exploit people like you, should be able to transfer seamlessly to doing absolutely the same under the new system.
Q: I am a human trafficker with the blood of countless men, women and children on my hands. How will the digital ID scheme affect me?
A: It won’t.