When I mentioned a filthy louse on Putin's dog I didn't mean JD Vance, honestly

The US Vice President didn't insult the UK and its war dead, and I did not in any way insult this fine and respectable statesman

Local issues deserve local journalists holding the powers that be to account. With local news in decline, knowing what is going on in our communities is more essential than ever. We can only exist because some of our readers are willing to support our work. If you value what we do, please consider becoming a paid supporter to ensure we can keep doing it. Free subscribers will only get the first part of this piece.

The Barrie Hudson Column

Barrie Hudson is a known quantity when it comes to writing words. Sometimes he even spells them correctly. In fact he has been writing words in the Swindon area for more than two decades. First of all for the Swindon Advertiser and then for Swindon Link and now for The Ink. Here are some of his words…

Clearing away some confusion

As you may be aware, the Vice President of the United States, JD Vance, is spending some time on Swindon’s doorstep in the Cotswolds.

Some of us may be delighted by this, while others may feel that, as far as finding things on one’s doorstep goes, JD Vance is a highlight on a par with that time their somewhat reckless cat ate a large slug and was copiously ill.

The estimable Vance, as many of us recall, was once asked for his thoughts about the creation, chiefly by this country, of a 20,000-strong peacekeeping force in a bid to halt the slaughter of Ukrainans which has been a constant feature of life in that nation since the criminal invasion ordered in by the murderous degenerate Vladimir Putin.

Vance responded dismissively, referring to “…20,000 troops from some random country that has not fought a war in 30 or 40 years.”

This prompted considerable anger in Britain, which has sent countless thousands of military personnel to fight in American-led wars since, oh, 2001 or so. Of those, more than 600 were killed and many more suffered life-changing physical and mental trauma. Some people in Britain felt, indeed, that this was an unforgivable insult to the dead and wounded.

Mr Vance subsequently insisted he was not talking about the UK when he made his comments.

So that was alright then.

In the same spirit, I feel duty-bound to clarify to many of my friends and acquaintances that when I said certain things in recent days, I was in no way talking about Mr Vance.

For example, I said: “This thing is a filthy, scuttling, disease-bearing louse on the stinking, mangy hide of a grovelling, boot-licking performing cur owned by a mass-murdering, sovereign nation-invading tyrant and war criminal.”

I wish to make clear that when I said this I was in no way referring to Vice President JD Vance, let alone to Donald Trump. I was talking about somebody else.

I also said: “Likes the Cotswolds does it? How about we send it to the wildlife park and invite it to spend some time in the lion enclosure? Mind you, any self-respecting lion who inadvertently put that disgusting creature in its mouth would immediately spit the thing out, throw up, reach for the Listerine and frantically attempt to signal to its keeper that it required immediate veterinary intervention.”

I wasn’t talking about JD Vance. I was talking about somebody else.

I also said: “The fact that this wretched creature and the creature it serves hold high office is an insult to the majority of its countrymen and women, who are revolted and sickened by the thing and everything it stands for.”

I wasn’t talking about JD Vance. I was talking about somebody else.